more on the beards you should know

So, I've been up really late every night this week working on the "beards you should know" show.
The problem is that to get into "character" I've been "loosening myself up" with doses of alcohol.
It's not smart.

I think you'll really like it.
Have I explained the premise?

The beard theorem


The Beard Theorem is a political theorem that relates to the Communist Party and its members.

The Beard Theorem is a theory that suggests that the size of one's Beard, whether it be a puff, French Fork or Mutton Chop, has a direct correlation to the radicality of a person's Socialist views. If one was to have a large, beard, that person has a higher chance of being a communist revolutionary than one other person who has only as moustache, or worse: no facial hair at all.

This theorem is proved by many of the communist Russian revolutionaries of the 1900's, those like Karl Marx, who has a massive, beard and, in accordance to the theorem, is a great communist. V.I. Lenin, the leader of the Russian Revolution, had a beard, yet it was not as profound, thus he is not as truly communist as Marx or Engels, as he has a relatively small beard, but it is still present and is truth of his communisity.

Josef Stalin, the leader of the Communist Vanguard Party in Russia from the mid 1920's to 1952, has no beard, yet has a moustache. Stalin, in accordance to the theorem thus has very little Communist Blood in him, as he is a Stalinist, and a social fascist. Exceptions to the rule is most East Asian Communist leaders.

It was pointed out to me, though that Santa Claus is a possible exception, or at least an interesting variation in that he obviously believes in equal distribution of private property, but exploits the elvish working class in order to do so!

beards you should know

Spamoscope IV

Today’s Spamoscope was sent to me by my friend Alva Parker, and is titled “the waygoing compromise” which is totally a good start.

Pay attention to the sweet sister that she never had.
It’s too easy to say that she had never been close to her brothers; . . . three more days. The world is forty thousand years old. You need to show Sir Brendan that a widow’s peak is there above his big black eyes. Sad to explain because I hate common sense.


He allows his instincts to be manipulated by the sorrows; approximation was invested( * I'm writing. Know) From his padded refuge of serpentine complications he knows.

This is perhaps my favorite one yet.
It looks like it's going to be a good day.
There's work to do.