16.11.07

funny story

This isn't art related at all, and I promised I'd never do this (tell stories like this in a blog) but Corine told me this story a while back, and I thought it was funny as hell. It's been a while, and I just remembered the story, so I may have embellished (a little).



Setting:
a bus in Berkeley, filled with students, and people commuting to work.
A young Hispanic student is sitting quietly near the back of the bus reading a book.
As the bus stops, an obviously drunk, middle aged man gets on (do you remember Downtown James Brown? That crazy guy downtown that thought he was James Brown and used to go around singing, begging for change and kissing girls' hands? I always imagine him playing this part -- it makes it funnier).


Downtown James Brown walks to the back of the bus near the student, and notices the student reading.

DTJB: (loud as hell) WHATCHO READIN'?

Student: (politely) hmm? oh -- a book

DTJB: (still loud) THAT SHIT'S NOT ENGLISH, WHAT IS THAT?

Student: oh, umm it's Russian

DTJB: (Screaming) RUSSIAN? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, RUSSIAN? YOU'RE MEXICAN -- MEXICANS CAN'T READ RUSSIAN!!! YOU'RE S'PPOSED TO BE READIN' MEXICAN! AND MEXICAN DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THAT!

Student: I'm from El Salvador

DTJB: (ignoring him) WHO THE FUCK'S EVER HEARD OF A MEXICAN THAT READS RUSSIAN, MAN??

Student: I'm sure plenty of Mexicans can read Russian, but I'm El Salv--

DTJB: YOU HEAR THAT EVERYBODY? THIS FOOL'S TRYIN' TO TELL ME THAT MEXICANS READ RUSSIAN!! ANYBODY EVER HEARD OF A MEXICAN THAT READS RUSSIAN RAISE YOUR HAND

(No one on the bus raises their hand)

DTJB: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!! HA!
GOD DAMN RUSSIAN!

(The scene ends and everybody goes back to whatever they were doing before)

14.11.07

Spam News

Ok, I don't want to say what it is, but something really special is happening with the Spamoscope.
Also, if you run into any good spam, please send it over.
spamoscope@saintofle.com

Feel free to sign me up for cruises, mailing lists, and coupons too.



13.11.07

Spamoscope V

Today's Spamoscope comes to me from Menuha Winstead and is titled seamew mafic chokidar realignment skipper which I think is a great middle name, if anyone is expecting a child soon.

Tell me what you think.

Cersei put a hand to her breast. Tell me who is spreading such calumnies!
The litter halted yet again, so suddenly that Cersei jerked.
Oh, this will infuriate you.
She leaned out to try to know you.
Cersei watched them.
She watches you.
A year older than his sister, but they had the way to die, Riverrun is ours.
Some songs and sweet wine.
My mouth is set for down the mountain fell on her.
Give a cup of sweet milk.


If you don't know what a spamoscope is, read this