Dentelaire, Le 18 Brumaire 217

more trick photography
taken the other night
at 25th & O
1am

camera settings were
25 seconds
ISO 800
f/22

more to come

I can't believe I didn't think of this before

fuck
I wish I had thought of this a long time ago.
I read that the proponents of proposition 8 (making same-sex marriage illegal in California) were advertising in the millions every week on google.
insane.
what they pay for -- ahem, what the Mormon Church pays for is called a click through, where you do a search (example "California Proposition 8", "gay marriage" or "prop 8") and click on their ad.

The yellow links below are ads -- and they pay (up to $5 per click according to some reports) for you to click on them.
The white links are called "organic" results -- results that are there because they're actually relevant, not because they paid.




(see below)
(click on this, because it's too small to see otherwise)


I think you can see where I'm going with this.
don't click on the organic results for the "YES" people, because that will boost their relevance.


To read more about it, click here
(it's the wiki page, so it's unbiased)

Finally, here is a list of intolerant Mormon assholes that donated money to this hateful piece of discrimination.
Mormons, in my experience have been the nicest, most tolerant and loving people, by the way. We should be careful to distinguish between the religion itself and the assholes that donated to this.


long live love.

ride to the polls

I'm not doing anything tomorrow but voting, and watching the polls.
(and, the UEFA Champions' League match between PSV and Marseille)

If you need a ride to the polls, I'll gladly take you.
I know some of you are registered far away.
call me or email me.
I'd be happy to help.
ferreal.

Jerboa

My old pal Jeremy was a creep for halloween
(I made him worse)

Scorsonère, Le 8 Brumaire, 217

-- o(s) of course.
not --o.
(as in plural)
photos of the day

take a mission (fixed)

ok everyone
calm down
clam down
I fixed the link
breathe easy.

take a mission

Found Kiss

daily found photo
(I'll do more don't worry)


Here is a rare photo of KISS as little kids.







(there's this too)

take a mission

Here's a little present for you.
Imagine it's 1999
and my (now) 12 year old sister is 4

I was recording an album that never turned into anything, and like any little sister, Anna wanted to help, so we recorded a song together.

(she sang of course)
what sounds like little kid talk is actually (apparently) real lyrics.
the song (according to Anna) is called "take a mission"


take a mission.m4a

Mixtape (present)

Hi again.

Remember how I told you I've been listening to Philip Glass' Opening over and over?


I made you a mixtape.
now you can too.

p.s.
I made you another one too, but that one is for later.

Government Mind Control Experiment pt.II

The US Government is trying to get into my thoughts and control my mind via my camera, as I showed you in a previous post.
The mail came pouring in, most of you asking for proof.
Here is the proof.
(don't worry, I won't let them into my brain)



(click to make it bigger)

Thanks Portland

My good good (x 1,000) pals and I were in Portland for this show.

I saw some good (x 1,000) pals that were already in Portland.
I had fun.
Here is proof.

(Ali & Whitney)

(Rafter = Pissed that there are only 4 chips)

(thumbs up, Mt. Shasta)

(Olivia in the nest looking aggrivated)

(a bum washing our windows (don't worry, we didn't give him any change, they do it for free in Oregon))

(g.m.f.)

(proud Matt with some free coffee he scored laying someones' lawn)

(Olivia giving a thumb to the chicken)

(Portland vegan BLT, aka PVBLT)

(us)

(Hostile Tapeover)

(Tim & Whitney)

(Sara, Ali, Oli)

(us)

(show)

(seriously the best photo I've ever taken, look carefully)

thought control experiments

This is what happens when you're trying to take a normal picture, and the military fucks with your camera in one of their top-secret laser beam/mind reading/thought control experiments.
At first I thought my camera was broken, so I was pissed at those fuckers.
Ferreal

(click to make it larger)

Alphabet Trucks

People are often looking for something good to stare at on the road.
Photographer Eric Tabuchi has the right idea.
here's his site at www.erictabuchi.fr.

2008 US Movie Box Office Charts

this makes me smile


2008 US Movie Box Office Charts (Visualized by Zach Beane)

Eliazer Mug Shot

Eliazer is another pal from my Guadeloupian silkscreen summer (GSS for short).
Eliazer comes from Santo Domingo.
Eliazer barely speaks French, and doesn't speak any English at all.
In fact, I taught him to count to 20 in English, and he always skipped 12 (which is not a really important number anyway, so who cares, right?)

He taught me how to dance Salsa, but I was awful.
I can't dance salsa to save my life
I'm not kidding

Eliazer can though.


(click to make it bigger)

Willy Mug Shot

This is my good pal, and fellow Guadeloupian silkscreener, Willy.
Willy likes to tell stories about sex.
really funny sex stories

remind me and I'll tell you

Anyway, when not talking, thinking about, or having sex, Willy is golden


(click to make it bigger)

Pineapple Bomber

in the spirit of my favorite food blog I've decided to post a recipe.
careful, it tastes like god's tears, but there's enough alcohol inside to start a shitty night club.

this drink was featured on the inside cover of my favorite record
(a cookie goes out to those that know which album this is)

Pineapple Bomber
1x Southern Comfort
1x Amaretto almond liqueur
1x Spiced Rum (dark rum)
6x pineapple juice
a little splash of grenadine

iPod Battle

as you can see, Corine and I are going to fuck shit up as team St.Ofle next Saturday.

if you don't come, you may not be forgiven.

Jer Punk

(this is Jeremy and I this afternoon at my house)


My good friend Jeremy fancies himself as a prankster.
If I had a dime for every time Jeremy has punk'd me, I'd have a lot of dimes.
So I decided to fuck with him where it counts

You see, where Jeremy works, parking is a problem.
Jeremy has to leave work every few hours to move his car, and even then still he gets a lot of parking tickets.

One day while walking downtown a few months ago, I found a piece of gold.
It was an (empty) parking ticket envelope, the kind he's used to seeing on his car once or twice every month.
I knew right away what to do with it.

As you can see, I've publically dared him to punk me back, and I'll let you know if he does.

Self Mugshot (out of the fire)

the sun was in my eyes, so you can't see the fire in them.
all criminals have fire in their eyes

don't believe me?
look

actual news

ok
I admit it
I just wanted you to read this
there is no actual news
except that I'm back to life
back in Sacramento
back in black
and back to the future

I'll be writing a lot more often, but first the past has to catch up to me, which means that you'll see a bit of Guadeloupe first.

Corine Mugshot II (thank you rum expert)

A lesson to us all that behind that cute smile beats the heart of one of Guadeloupe's most notorious criminals.
more proof perhaps that you can't judge a book by its' cover.

Punk'd

Last night, I got a call in the early evening.
typically, I'd be at school, but I was home from school, so it was a coincidence that I was able to answer.

The call was from "Nick" from SoundlessArt.com, a Seattle publication celebrating art for the hearing impaired.

Interesting.
so "Nick", being hearing impaired, was using an IP Relay service, or TDD device, in which "Nick" types, and an operator relays the message to me, and types back my responses to "Nick".

"Nick" seems to know a lot about me, and has some pretty interesting questions to ask, and it was a bit strange giving an interview with such a clumsy means of communication.

You're also probably wondering why I keep putting "Nick"'s name in quotes.
Well -- go to the soundless art site and read the article.

I got punk'd hard.

Buy a Mystery Note

If you know me like you say you know me, you'll know that my most hated things are;
Thomas Kinkade
Marco Materazzi
Freedom
Money
and Snakes with Human-Teeth

Alas, I'm a realist (isn't that hilarious? everyone thinks they're a realist) and I suppose I need money to support my (art) habit.

I'm offering my Mystery Note Services for a fee.
$20 buys you the following;

1. Mystery Note delivered to anyone you choose
2. Photographic proof
3. Complete anonymity
4. Your choice of message*

What I need from you;

1. $20 (lesser donations are accepted, if you're broke)
2. Location of your victim's house/car (you can also choose a stranger)
3. A note, or message for your victim (you can also have me create one)
4. a rough idea of this person's schedule

*=Messages can be anything you want, no matter how imoral, as long as I don't get beat up, or thrown in jail for delivering it (i.e. no death threats, but I don't mind telling your boss he smells like shit)

Also;
I'll only wait around for them to come back & get the note for so long.
Time is money, you know?
In all cases you'll have photos of me delivering the note, but I may not be able to see them read the note.




click the button below to buy.

St. Richard

I'm not Catholic
(I think I should repeat it, just so you're sure)
I'm not Catholic
But I've always thought it was funny --- the idea of canonization.
It's such a strange idea.
I won't go on and on about how I'm not religious (although I'm not religious) because that's not the point.

The point is that today is St.Richard's day.
That's right

And being Richard St.Ofle, I feel a bit obliged to celebrate.
Though, I'm really not sure what to do.
ideas?

(I was thinking about sending him a Mystery Note, but I don't' know where he's parked.)

Rabies

Something terrible happened on my way to work this morning.
So this story starts on a beautiful spring morning like any other (today).

I'm walking to work, and a few blocks away from work, a stray dog (I don't know dog-types, but it was big and looked mean as hell) ran across the intersection, almost got hit by a car, and started attacking a little kid that was with his mom while they were crossing the street.

I ran over to help him (the kid, not the dog, by the way), and when I'm almost there, the dog lunges at me and bit the shit out of me! I kicked it off, and started to run, but it bit me again, and then ran off into the street, AND GOT HIT BY A CAR AND KILLED! I felt so guilty (and not guilty at the same time).

I was totally terrified, and the kid's mom offered to drive me to the hospital.
OK
so we get to the emergency room, and I was a little worried, because this dog was acting ca-razy and obviously had something wrong with it.
When I got to the emergency room (I was bleeding pretty bad) they gave me 12 stitches in my leg, and a rabies test, which (as you can imagine) was a bit embarrassing to ask for.

They printed out my results, which can be seen here
along with a few pictures of the ordeal

First Recording of a Human Voice

Thanks to my pal Matt Ferro (of the incredible Sacramento band Bright Light Fever) for this article.

It has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was interesting.
Researchers found the first ever recording of a human voice (made in 1860). It's a woman (or child) singing "Au Clair de la Lune" (of course the invention was a French one -- c'mon!)

read the article here

or
listen

Hey Chris, I'm...

Here's a new game:
My pal (he doesn't want me to say his name on the internet) and I always joke about what the funniest thing to say to our boss would be.

We imagine our boss being serious and intimidating, and we'd come in and shock him by describing ourselves in a totally inappropriate state.
(example; "Hey Chris, I took way too much acid, and I totally can't concentrate on work stuff right now -- can I wash your car or something?")

So I decided that, like any joke, the logical conclusion is that it be carried out (obviously).

Here are the rules to the game;

1. it must start with "Hey Chris, I'm.." and end as inappropriately as possible
2. you must say it totally seriously, and promptly walk out of his office
3. at least one other person must be present (for verification)


Best idea wins.
I'll do this shit next week.
Leave a comment, or send me an email at heychrisgame@saintofle.com


by the way, if you're reading this Chris -- I have never done, nor will ever do LSD at work.
it was just an example.

My Morning Encounter

Setting:
it's a bright, sunny morning (7am)
birds are singing, flowers are blooming, and the weather is perfect
a young man (me) is walking to work, and on his way encounters a homeless person that is (obviously already drunk) stumbling on the street muttering to himself.

Homeless Man: Wait! Wait, son!

Me: huh? what?

Homeless Man: Don't fucking -- don't go past P street today -- FDI -- FDI has it locked down... (inaudible mumbling)

Me: huh? what do you mean?

Homeless Man: locked down, son -- you don't want to be fucking -- the FDI has it -- the FDI -- you don't want to fuck with the FDI do you?

Me: do you mean that the FBI?

Homeless Man: The changed their name, son -- (screaming toward P street) THEY CHANGED THEIR FUCKING NAME, SON -- BECAUSE THE -- THE FUCKING ARMY -- ARMY OF CHRIST WAS ON TO THEM, AND JESUS DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE HIS PEOPLE FUCKED IN THE ASS BY THE GOD DAMNED FDI

Me: ohhhh -- why would the FBI fuck people in the ass?

Homeless Man: that's their job, son -- I've been undercover here -- fucking them -- in this shithole -- the 1940s -- Jackie over there -- see, the pyramid on the dollar bill -- because the Boston Tea Party -- those fuckers -- can't -- killed Kennedy -- fuckers -- I might look like an old black drunk, but I'm really a rich white lady -- I'm under cover -- they never catch me -- I'm protecting people from -- those FUCKERS -- it's like that movie --

Me: which movie?

Homeless Man: ALL OF THEM (laughs hysterically)

Me: oh yeah, of course

Homeless Man: THAT'S WHY THE MONEY IS (i don't know what he said)

Me: did you say "clean" or "green"

Homeless Man: (pronouncing it carefully) Mean

Me: money is mean?

Homeless Man: Lean

Me: (fucking with him) Money is queen?

Homeless Man: IN BETWEEN

Me: do you mean fifteen?

Homeless Man: BBBBBBean

Me: is money obscene?

after that, we both laugh, and he tells me to have a good day, and I finished walking to work.
relating to a crazy person like that has made me feel a little crazy all day long.
but I think it's the right start to the day.

Rester Fidel

So, many of you disagree with me on this, I know.
But I really love Fidel Castro.

He is said (by his former security chief, Fabian Escalante) to have survived no fewer than 638 real or planned assassination attempts during his near half-century in power.

Since the revolution of 1959, Castro has faced American opposition, and capitalist propaganda.
I'm going to miss him.

Bright Light Fever Petition

So the ongoing St.ofle/Bright Light Fever rivalry has taken another twist.
My beloved friends Bright Light Fever have refused to play (or have anything to do with) a Yoko Ono song.

So I started an online petition, and I'm asking you to join me in showing Bright Light Fever who's boss!

We, the undersigned feel that Bright Light Fever should perform a live, and recorded version of the Yoko Ono song “All day long, I felt like smashing my head through a clear glass window”. We agree that the song is a good fit to Bright Light Fever, and that an addition of a Yoko Ono song to their already diverse repertoire would be beneficial for them.

We understand that Bright Light Fever are not fans of Yoko Ono’s music, but we will not hold it against them, and upon fulfillment of our request, we agree to go to Bright Light Fever shows, and buy any Bright Light Fever album that features the song, or at least to consider it.

We feel that, should Bright Light Fever agree to perform this song, they would be overwhelmed by fan support, and are using this petition as proof of such.

Sign the Bright Light Fever Petition

(here's a portrait I did of the band)